Mercedes' Mind Mirror

Let me get there straight. Yesterday was the last day of school.Photographs,goodbyes,girls and slam books,hugging each other Merry Christmas and new year..I'm not the hugging-kissing kind but I made it a point to wish everyone. So I walk up to one of my teachers and wished her a merry Christmas.She gave a displeased snort and muttered something. I took a moment to comprehend her reaction.I was first confused and when I understood the slightly repulsed expression on her face I was taken aback.I was left in utter disgust after the incident. Christianity is not her religion, which was why she refused shake hands or return the greetings. Apparently she thinks I follow her religion.I follow it only on application forms,purely an official blank filled.Religious intolerance-it was not something you'd expect of a person of this age,and particularly a person of her profession. I felt the sudden urge to tell her my mother is a Christian. She would be appalled to know I'm a c...

Sleepy town woke up to dusty dawn To deafening rumble an roar,not a sign of fear But indeed War had come Men were paid to pave Paths to pestilence an' pain thick with stench of the slain There lay in ruthless neglect upon a soaked red earth the dying limbs of green friends As they grew black of death Man's monster machines played on,their game of destroy The tree of  thousand years lay in a mangled heap no one to mourn or weep Of love,war and peace it had had many stories to tell but for the blade of man whom it once let breathe

I was walking back from after school classes with Aparna whom I barely knew two years back.She has become one of my best friends. Waiting beneath the old banyan bus stop with the rest of Mar Ivanios, we stood talking about how things had just fallen into place. How we ended up doing everything together. Like best friends. It's funny because we had been in the same school for 7 years back in Muscat but the only thing that we had in common was Christy as our best friend. Nothing more than a hi-bye person. I  am a very bad friend. I don't always remember birthdays and text at toc-12 or walk people to their house (which may be on the very next right) because they are afraid of getting mugged. Bottom line: i'm not "sweet". I detest people who put up silly quotes (and worse their own) on friendship as stats--and those who like them. Coming back to live in India was like some sort of a test. Except it was more important that one made mistakes.The right mistakes. ...

Of all human traits I find arrogance most interesting. I believe there are two sides to it. There is plain unworthy arrogance and there is reasonable justified arrogance. Sometimes I'm drawn to arrogant people. To those who are really good at what they do and know it themselves too. Some call it being over-confident.Some call it sheer arrogance. I too call it arrogance sometimes.With a bitten lip and a grudging smile. Why do you secretly admire that arrogant son of a bitch?Simply put , because he's so AWESOME!~ *droool*. Why do you seem to overlook the fact that he nevertheless is arrogant. Because arrogance becomes an attribute to the person (though I always make it point to keep that to myself). I don't encourage arrogance but I don't want to criticize it either.Sometimes arrogance provides what humility does in terms of inspiration. Humility is a good thing.Being modest and not boastful, yes I do respect such people.But put both kinds on the counter and ...

  I remember the beginning of this year. I felt I were in a race car with a shaky foot on the throttle. Everyone was very considerate and all I heard them talk was about how not easy the Class XII examinations were going to be, tuition,grades,entrance examinations. Gah! I pretended to be dumb and deaf for some time. But inside I felt uneasy. Everyone else knew what they wanted to become or at least had had someone make the decision for them. Sometimes I’d wonder aloud, “Maybe I should become a movie director” after watching some major Mani Ratnam or Spielberg flick. One thing I knew—I would never join the zombie fray of doctors and engineers if I could help it. There are already too many of them in the country. Six months into Grade 12 I’m somewhat still in the same condition. I haven’t bunked or flunked much. But I haven’t started learning my lessons or doing my homework either. You can find me glassy-eyed and distant in my physics class. I'd be floating in outer space. I’d...

Looking back at some of my earlier posts I laughed.Frivolous things.I must have grown up a lot but it feels like Peter Pan. I don't want to grow up. In my final year of school I suddenly want to do all the things I could have done under kids' rights. Sigh... In kindergarten it was about best friends, about saving that special candy for your best friend on your birthday,about cards and crayons,about sharing,about being ourself. Then in elementary school it was about nerd vs cool wars.How silly! hehe..About beating your best friend and 'that nerd' in exams. Then...(smiles nostalgically)..came high school. Sure there were cool vs not-cool tension,he-said-she-said fights but it is most certainly the most beautiful time of youth. Like Taylor Swift's lyrics. A cluster of memories that will stay sparkling in our hearts. And now we're all going away..far away. Someday we'll meet again..

I've been trying to revive my better half..I want to write I want to paint, I want read,I want to pack my bags and set out to see the world.. I've been trying not to give up a lot of things.. Something I did on a outburst of energy .This one was for my uncle Sabin Iqbal aka Pacman  who blindly believes "my instincts".                                                                 

.. Them greybeards speak of forces and falls those things don't apply to me.. i'm not bound by rules and fancy theories.. i run wild..free...my thoughts  they defeat gravity.. i sail the skies ,fly on the seas.. a dragonfly is beautiful to me  just as a butterfly can be ...

I remember the beginning of last year. I was ripped off roots and stuck in new soil. I struggled ,I kept falling over, I couldn't breathe ,I couldn't sleep. I lived on memories and yearnings and had no idea where life was taking me. I missed my home across the sea. I missed the old faces, the protection I felt back home.. I felt as though I were in a video game. On reaching this new place I felt as though I were suddenly switched from Demo mode to Level I. If it had been dummies i'd been fighting before it was now all too real. Two years have gone since I said goodbye to golden sun and sands. I'm in love with the rain and green. People change. I have heard it only many times. The teak planted eleven years ago now towers over the house. It has grown older and more beautiful. Every year we call Mani and the 60 year old "thandaan" would come scale the beauty and axe down her hundred hands. She'd look dead and defeated for the next couple of weeks. And th...

Last week my chemistry teacher told us all to get lab coats and goggles. And this year we were going to have droppers in the reagent bottles. Yes yes, this year things were going to be safer in the chem lab. So on Tuesday we all walked to the lab, coat-clad, feeling proud. The chemistry lab has the aura of funeral meeting. It is deadly quiet even when a class of forty-two is inside. Then the once friendly chemistry teacher turns severe. She begins to talk in a hard stony voice. “You will not talk to anyone. You will look for reagents yourself and follow the procedure yourself. If any apparatus is broken you will pay. You are to put back the reagents where you found them. We’re short on reagents so don’t perform so and so tests.If I see anyone talking you will be out (pointing to the door). If you have any doubt don’t ask your friends.Come to me.” The last sentence after all instruction did not in the least sound comforting. “Start.” We took our positions according to roll order....

“Amiya okay now stand up!” I stood up slowly and hung my head, my face still red from laughing crazy. I stifled the treacherous torrent of laughter making its way up as Mr. Hussein said: “Okay now Anantthhha stand up okay now.” “Idiot!” hissed Anantha. The little embarrassment I had felt a second before evaporated as fast as it had come. Anantha Venkatraman was one of my best friends and partner in crime. We were the bickering twosome. All our fights usually ended in uncontrollable spurts of laughter. “Now okay if you continue this okay behaviour it will affect your okay performance. This is not a joke,” continued Mr. Hussein. I tried my hardest not to laugh when I caught sight of someone in the next row making tally marks on his desk to count the number of times Mr. Hussein said “okay now”. Anantha, eager to get back into the teacher’s good books, said: “Sorry Sir”, resetting his features to a grim and sorry expression. I feared he would get away with it because Anantha was one of Mr....

t’s always a little depressing that the smarter guy grabs the glory everywhere, be it at school or at workplace. We resort to all sorts of things to beat the smart guy. The little green monster takes over and makes us do either of the following. We work harder and score better, or simply continue envying and do nothing about it or the worst, cheat. Once after a particularly tough Maths exam I came home and dialled my sister seeking solace. She told something she had read somewhere. Every human brain has the same capacity. The smart people just keep theirs warm and working. I found this quite inspiring and ever since lessened the number of times I call myself stupid. Even when I score low at school I feel guilty for not having put enough effort but I also feel quite happy about the fact that what I have scored is with me and my brains alone. The conscience centre in my head works better than most people I believe or else I would have virtually been suffocated by wrong doings. We used...

I want to inspire people. Now you may think 'who's this little kid saying that big word?'. But I have a reason to want to inspire people. It's because I have been inspired by a few. I have been to four different schools since I first joined the crèche at Mary Nilayam and have been taught by a great many teachers or rather many great teachers. And when I left each school some of the people who left a lasting impression on me were my teachers. I was one of the average kids in the class since grade 8 at my old school - Indian School Al Ghubra - in Muscat. And definitely did not belong to any cliques and ‘popular gangs’. I was just another kid. Yet I still got those “good work”, “excellent” and “keep it up” remarks whenever I submitted an assignment or scored well in a test. I don’t know if the teacher meant any of it or if it was part of the protocol whenever a student did well. Either way those remarks produced the effect it was meant to have. It meant encouragement fro...

The first thing that struck me about this movie is the title.City of Angels. It sounds so heavenly. The next thing was it had my favourite song in it. I loved Iris by Goo Goo Dolls ever since my friend Rohit told me about it. The story is about how Seth (Nicholas Cage), one of the many Angels who watch over the human beings of Los Angeles , falls in love with a young doctor Maggie Rice (Meg Ryan). He is impressed by her dedication towards her patients and eventually falls in love with her. Angels have subdued emotions, they feel no pain or hunger, they can't feel,breathe or taste. They may choose to 'fall' and give up eternity to become a human.That's what Seth did after he realised he couldn't convince Maggie that he was a Messenger of God. The story end on a tragic note with Maggie's unexpected death. There is touching line where Seth says "I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss of her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without...

The lights were out I sat by the window peering into the dark rain Today was the ceremony The pelting cold drops, they were the orchestra beating down hard on the roofs and stones and leaves Steadily down on they beat, they were natural and the best the wind rustling,carried the tune, stopped suddenly Hush!Here they come, there the thunderous roll! It grew louder,drew closer the breeze,colder,tenser. It was no thunder but the tremendous wheels treading the heavenly path the royal chariots were passing by. High above pure silver struck! The sky flashed so bright like fireworks, the beautiful lights announced the kings' arrival The clap of the thunder the cheerful lights More chariots and the enchanting music Tonight the kings will be sent back from heaven they are on their way the true eternal leaders The breeze wound through through the trees through the window He found me A single puff and he swept the wonder off my face He stroked my...

I like funny.Not that I'm a joke-okay sometimes yeah--but in most cases humour is why I gel with people so well. If you ask people who know me very well there's nothing more I love than to throw back my head and laugh my hysterical, maniacal laugh. I'd laugh till my eyes water and sides hurt. And few know that its the best weapon to use to stir me from my blues. For instance my brother Omar, he'd wait for the perfect vulnerable moment after my tantrums so he can say something stupid and I'd back "ROTFL".It needn't always be the gimmicks or wise cracks. My personal favourite is sarcastic humor and absolute lameness.I use my own sarcasm to entertain myself when I'm stuck alone. And i could LOL madly at lameness. Humour is a defence mechanism. I swear a laugh works better than a sneer. They say don't do drugs but I think you can get away with laughter.I don't see women doing it that often. In the Indian scenario they are laden with the all ...

There stands the lonely house. It is a beautiful thing with its ivory walls and polished doors and windows.It gleams pale gold in the afternoons. But the wrought iron gate is always shut.No one comes in or goes out. The windows are never opened. It stands all in glory like a cursed jewel no one will claim But there lives a strange family in this house. They say they are strange creatures. They are never heard speaking except for low moans and some kind of hissing. They have red eyes and their bodies are grey and have bony red feet. If you ask anyone they have never seen them. Then one day I saw them proud pigeons strutting about under the eaves. Few years back when my grandmother died, our ancestral home was abandoned. It was like a mansion amidst a clump of trees like one of those witch castles in old stories. My grandmother wasn't alone all those years. She had her trees and birds and snakes and all those tiny creatures to keep her company. They seem to know her only too well...

When the cab pulled to a stop at a ‘straat’ full of tall houses I felt the first tickles of excitement racing through every nerve. As we hauled out the bags from behind I heard a cry of joy. I turned around to see Mummy and Pappy with Ivo, still handsome though now his hair was grey as ash and his skin perhaps a little less taut but his perfect Aryan features remained just as I’d remember them from his old photographs. Then came Ilse, but she was not at all what I’d seen from the photos Pappy brought a few years back when he had revisited Belgium. She was supposed to be pretty but plump with greyish straight hair tied in a bun at the back and wearing huge earrings. Instead out stepped an Ilse dressed in a turquoise dress, prettier with shorter flaming red hair that curled at the end, and plumper than ever. There was someone else too, someone only Pappy had seen on his last visit. But Marnix had grown taller than Pappy had seen him last. Marnix is Satya’s little brother though he was ha...

If I said I met Edward Cullen you probably wouldn’t believe me. But I did meet someone just as perfect as him. Gregor was the most handsome, beautiful, godlike creature I had set my eyes on when I first met him over tea at his house. His father, Gagik was a brilliant astrophysicist who had come to the University as a consultant. His mother Karine (pronounced as kah-ri-nay) too an astrophysicist had accompanied Gregor on a short visit to his father. They were Armenian. I had never heard of Armenia before, so I Googled it. It was a cold,Caucasian country bounded by land on all sides. I now understood why Gagik loved the sea. Armenia was known to have faced the worst of poverty in the wake of the world wars. Karine explained in her very poor English how they had absolutely no electricity or cooking gas till a few years back. I shuddered imagining a cold dark place without food. I gathered Armenians must be very strong, fierce people at heart. They looked quite powerful on the outside...

I had a haircut few days back.I do almost every six months but had not attracted as much attention as this time. Maybe it wouldnt have been sucha big hype were I back in Muscat. But people here in Kerala just can't take it if a 16 year old girl has her hair cropped off below her ears.I guess they have not seen many. The perfect girl here is one who has waist length oiled hair neatly braided and tied with ribbons.Excuse me! So as I walked into school it felt a movie with a hundred pairs of eyes staring at me.Hundred pairs of wide open shocked.,horrified ,surprised( yup! i got all kind of response)eyes.I walked into 11b first looking for Aparna.Loud Gasps, girly screams and more shocked faces.Aswathy screamed her way to me. "Alice!"..yeah i wish. But the closest thing that Alice Cullen and I have in common is the hair(hers is spikier and shorter) because Alice Cullen is a vampire and she's beautiful! The guys all seemed quite confused. They didn't like it. Hahah...

That's right.I can exaggerate well.Let me tell you what really happened.Today I went to school after an eight-day vacation to Muscat after debating whether i was really tired after the journey or i was just pretending too hard. It was by far the best day at school-partly cuz we weren't really at school.We went for this joy ride and nearly got us killed in this stampede and nearly lost the one of our classmates.(can't i ever stop?----no) I trudged heavily to my classroom still sleepy from the day before.Groggily I helloed n hi'ed everyone.My ever-eager-to-know-more-brainy-stuff friend Kirthana was ranting on about this Indian Science Congress held at the College of engineering,Kariyavattom.She badly wanted to attend the thing and had gone up to the princy for permission a couple of times to take the 11th grade for the exciting science hungama packed with oily nerds. hmm....was all i thought about the marvellous idea.Finally in the second period they sent for us and h...